SOBRIETY

The word 'sobriety' is actually a very old English term that has been resurrected and has gained a modern meaning due to its usage within 12-step programs. Sobriety in Alcoholics Anonymous and the 12-step community imples the requirement of 100% Total Abstinence from all mind-altering substances - to call oneself 'sober'.

According to the dictionary, "abstinence is the avoidance of consumption" whereas "sobriety is the condition of control". The traditional 12-step based treatment programs for addiction define these two terms inaccurately - using them interchangeably and synonymously. Becaused of this error, most people unintentionally get confused, which often results in them falling easy prey to a type of 'psychological recovery gridlock'.

If you look up the word 'sobriety' in the dictionary today, you will find that most definitions actually do not even include references to 'abstinence'.

Here are a few examples of how 'sobriety' is defined:

1. The state or quality of being sober
2. The quality of refraining from excess
3. The quality of being serious or sedate

By honestly understanding the distinct definitions of these two different words, a new more realistic mindsets are possible. This difference explains why when I speak of 'sobriety', I am not necessarily talking about 'total abstinence', but rather only the 'trait of avoiding excesses'.

Ironically, even AA and the 12-step programs are actually cognizant that there is a difference between 'abstinence' and 'sobriety' in the commonly-used AA expression 'Dry Drunk'. In 12-step parlance, a 'dry drunk' refers to an alcoholic who is completely abstaining from alcohol, but is not working the 12 steps of the program. More specifically, a 'dry drunk' is a derogatory, judgemental term, referring to an alcoholic who has actually stopped drinking, but because they have not modified their thinking that led to their problem, their behaviors remain as emotionally immature as if they were still drinking alcoholically.

Unfortunately, dry drunks are a relatively large segment of the AA population, and are a common occurrence in many 'One-Size-Fits-All' abstinence only treatment programs.

The assumption that sobriety requires abstinence very often hinders people from entering treatment until the addiction has escalated to a high severity level where abstinence is really necessary. Seemingly confirming the 12-step proposition that sobriety must be based on abstinence. The continued blurring of these two different concepts perpetuates only abstinence-based treatments and philosophy.

The idea that sobriety requires abstinence also substantially limits the potential recovery options made available to an individual seeking help, as well as implying to the therapist that abstinence is always the most appropriate treatment goal. It coerces people into beliveing that addiction recovery is an either/or situation - with only total abstinence as an acceptable outcome. But that the limited mindset is not the truth - and certainly can not help everyone.

Sobriety is really a psychological or emotional state of self-management - not really having anything to do with abstinence. Sobriety is available to drinkers and non-drinkers alike, and is seen when people relate to their world in a rational, calm and mature manner.

I consider the idea of 'acting and thinking soberly' to be a very important element in one's recovery, especially needed to stay balanced during the many difficult times in one's life. That being said, my goal with every one of my clients is to assist them to attain sobriety, and then help them to maintain it successfully - to live and enjoy a better quality of life.

E-mail: habitdoc@gmail.com